Insecurities come in all shapes and sizes, let’s talk

The world of MC4r has been quiet lately, but there was something I wanted to talk about a few weeks ago so; off the back of my last post, I want to continue the discussion on whether it’s okay to comment on other peoples bodies.

I was discussion with a girl in my business class about the insecurities girls face about their bodies regardless of their size. I told her about my struggles with weight loss and she opened up about her insecurities being a thinner girl who cannot gain weight.

This is something I’ve spoken about before, and when you’re bigger it can be difficult to empathise with thinner people. For years I struggled with this; because it’s what you strive towards. When you’re overweight, all you want is to be thin, to wear thin girl clothes, to feel confident, to know what it’s like to wear a crop top or a swimsuit and not be feel like eyes are on you for the wrong reason. To be the fat girl that never gets looked at by boys because they want the thin girl standing next to you, to be the best friend and never the girlfriend.

So when someone complains about being thin you feel angry and envious, and a small part of you wants to Freaky Friday with them so they know what it’s like in your shoes. But as you get older you realise insecurities come in all shapes and sizes and even that idolised body that you dream of everyday has insecurities. It’s also why I encourage these conversations because think it’s so important to understand other people and what they feel.

Talking to other people, especially someone who is different physically and hearing their story can help you understand yourself in a way you never thought possible and even help you accept yourself the way you are.

However, what bothered me was that during this conversation someone felt the need to but in and make a comment on her body (the person I was talking to). This comment was a backhanded compliment that dismissed her feelings — saying that because she’s thin her insecurities aren’t valid.

This is something I also hate; we do this a lot naturally because we think we’re being nice “but you’re so skinny though” or “what do you have to feel insecure about?” But consider the fact you’re also dismissing legitimate feelings this person has and really we should be more supportive and less dismissive.

These are just my opinions of course and I don’t mean to cause offence with anything I’ve said. Hopefully, some see my point. I know I’m not necessarily talking about bigger people today but I do think it’s important to recognise insecurities among all, and not just the few.

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